is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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