She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
