I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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