You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
