I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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