She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
