Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
