this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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