What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
