just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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