I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
