the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
