I just pynch a tree in the face
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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