And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
