I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
