And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
