Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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