I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
