conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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