Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
