I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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