On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
