The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
