What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
