Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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