You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
