Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
