Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
