hotel room ftw
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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