My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
