Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
