if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And then he peed in my hair
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