For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
