after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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