If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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