dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
