you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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