woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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