We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
