she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
