I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
