Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
