I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
