Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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