There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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