in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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