Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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