direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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