Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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