I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
