he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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