I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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